Monday, June 20, 2011

Brian Clark's life story?

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do i begin?
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.
My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe.
At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles.
There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

We're meeting tomorrow!

Another week, another StorytellersAZ meeting. Show up at 7pm (Gangplank) to be on the podcast or get there at 7:30 to participate in the rest.

We'll talk long-form writing, how to create ideas from nothing and what physical fitness has to do with creativity.

Tell your friends?

Monday, June 13, 2011

Star Wars prequels

What if Darth Maul survived the first movie?

What if the Emperor ordered Darth Maul to kill the Jedi younglings, and Anakin tried to stop him, but was injured?

Then Obi Wan swooped in, killed Darth Maul, but in doing so, accidentally injured Padme?

Then Anakin freaks out, blames Obi Wan for what he thinks is Padme's death, but Obi Wan defeats him?

Padme dies, Anakin gets angry and the rest of the film goes on.

It's better.