Friday, September 30, 2011

Fitness goal for the next three days

MeYouHealth is group of healthy minded individuals who partake in daily challenges that seek to improve their overall health and well being.

Today's challenge was to write down a fitness goal for the next three days and this is what popped in my head:

Jump over a heavily fortified fence. I need to do this to get into the Chandler police equipment and evidence locker and see their loot.

I have to jump 3+ feet, pull myself up, balance on a six-inch wide lip (so as to not set off the motion detectors) and then leap across what looks like a few feet of razor wire.

A standing leap my do it, but I have to keep my weight forward to make sure I don't catch on the razor wire, which may reduce my leaping distance.

Maybe I'll throw something rubber over the wire. Or maybe pogo jump over the wall instead.

Will keep you posted.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

I've always wanted to write a book...

...and publish it and be successful and do Q&A sessions like the Rooster Teeth guys do at PAX. 

I've written some short-novel length stuff, but nothing complete yet.

But until then, I'd sure as hell like to see others succeed.

Teel of Modern Evil is helping a South African author turn a book of poetry into a printed piece. They need $330 to do it.

I gave $10. Won't you, too?

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/modernevil/unspecified-a-poetry-book-hopi...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Mad Men walk-on for Morgan! Vote now!

I like Morgan.

Also, she's kinda perfect for Mad Men. 

She sent this to me earlier today, so DO WHAT SHE SAYS and no one will get hurt.

I hope this finds you all well. I’m writing because I’ve entered a contest to win a walk-on role on the TV show Mad Men, and in order to win, I need a LOT of votes! All you have to do is go to this linkhttp://madmencastingcall.amctv.com/browse/detail/45a01f14a72736620760ec0d479cbbb30dda28cd and click the “vote” button next to my photo. The first time requires that you create a login, but it only takes a minute and doesn’t result in any junk email. You’re allowed to vote once every 24 hours. The contest ends September 25 and I think I really have a chance at winning with your help!

 Please consider forwarding this to your own contacts; it would really mean a lot to me. Retweets and Facebook posts are much appreciated as well. If I can return the favor in any way, i.e., if anyone else needs nominations or votes for another contest, please let me know.

 Thanks so much everyone! 

Get to voting!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Brian Clark's life story?

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do i begin?
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.
My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe.
At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles.
There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

We're meeting tomorrow!

Another week, another StorytellersAZ meeting. Show up at 7pm (Gangplank) to be on the podcast or get there at 7:30 to participate in the rest.

We'll talk long-form writing, how to create ideas from nothing and what physical fitness has to do with creativity.

Tell your friends?

Monday, June 13, 2011

Star Wars prequels

What if Darth Maul survived the first movie?

What if the Emperor ordered Darth Maul to kill the Jedi younglings, and Anakin tried to stop him, but was injured?

Then Obi Wan swooped in, killed Darth Maul, but in doing so, accidentally injured Padme?

Then Anakin freaks out, blames Obi Wan for what he thinks is Padme's death, but Obi Wan defeats him?

Padme dies, Anakin gets angry and the rest of the film goes on.

It's better.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Don't Sell Me Bro (guest starring me)

I have trouble selling what I do. I'm not sure if it's a lack of confidence that what I do is valuable (it's easy for me, but only because I have lots of practice), have an issue asking people for money (highly likely) or I just don't like talking to people (unlikely), but I've never been a great salesman.

When Conrey and Cooke offered me some quick sales training on their Don't Sell Me Bro podcast, I jumped right on it.

Excellent tips and a few pointers that I'm still using. My biggest lesson?

Ask for the sale. Never going to happen unless you ask.