Thursday, December 15, 2011

What kind of idiot celebrity writes a newsletter from his smartphone in the back of a car? Louis C.K.

From Louis C.K. Fucking love it.

Hi.  This is LOuie.  It seriously is me. Im even going to leave
the O stuipdly capatalized because who would pay an intern to do
that?? Okay so you bought the thing with my fat face on it and
you clicked the button that said i could email you. And i know
that now you are thinking "aw shit. Why'd i let this guy into my
life this way?". Well dont worry. Because i really swear it that
i wont bug you. I will not abuse this privalage of having your
email. You wont hear from me again... Probably, unless i have
something new to offer you. The reason i'm writing now, in the
back of a car taking me to the Tonight Show set, is to let you
know that as of now there is some new and cool stuff on my site,
related to Live at the Beacon Theater. Theres a thing where you
can download and print a dvd box cover and label so you can burn
and make your own dvd of the video. And theres a new option where
you can gift the special to as many people as you want (for 5
bucks each) and they'll get a nice gifty email from you with a
link to the video.

Also, some of you may know, i recently made a statement (that
sounds so dumb. Like i'm the president or something) about how the
video has been doing online. Im pasting it in here below in case
you missed it.

Lastly I'm planning to put some more outtakes of the show on
youtube and i think i will put one on the site that is only
available for free to you folks on this list, who bought the
thing and opted in. But dont hold me to that because really i
just thought of it and typed it.

Okay well please have a happy rest of the year and more happy
years after that. And please even have been happy in your past. 
What?

Thanks again for giving me 5 dollars. I bought 3 cokes with it.

Regards. Sincerely, Actually,

Louis

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

Cherish Every Minute....

My surgery a few years ago was relatively minor, but it sure as hell kicked my ass.

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Bad Things
Like Cherish Every Minute.... on Facebook  

We think all that nasty stuff is never going to happen to us, until yes, it happens to us.

As anyone who has ever had a health scare will tell you, the gap between the abstract idea of being sick and actually getting sick is very, very wide.

The older I get, the more fragile human existence seems to me.

The more it needs to be cherished.

Every last drop of it.


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Tuesday, November 8, 2011

AZ #PearcedOut tonight

I don't know Russell Pearce nor do I live in his district, but from everything I read about the man, it's a very good thing he's out of AZ politicis for now. Perhaps Brewer goes next.

Tuesday, October 11, 2011

test post

It's PodcampAZ 2011 time!

Expertly written post by Dani Cutler-

By now you’ve seen the awesome speaker line up we have planned for this year’s PodcampAZ. So much awesome we really don’t know how to contain it- and we can’t! Nor do we want to!

But have you seen the little link that says “Register”? No? Well, you should head there now and get yourself all signed up to attend this year’s PodcampAZ. You will be glad you did- especially because we can confirm some awesome names speaking that weekend! Evo Terra, the fabulous Amy Donohue, and we even have some local TV news fame speaking- 3-TV’s Carey Pena! Who would want to miss that? I know I wouldn’t. That’s why I registered, and you should too. Right now!

Make sure you check back on Friday- because that is when the final schedule will be set in stone and you can plan your two days of awesome accordingly.

PodcampAZ is also too good to keep to yourself, so definitely tell a friend. Or five of them! Register now for PodcampAZ 2011, November 12 &13th!

Now go register!

Friday, September 30, 2011

Fitness goal for the next three days

MeYouHealth is group of healthy minded individuals who partake in daily challenges that seek to improve their overall health and well being.

Today's challenge was to write down a fitness goal for the next three days and this is what popped in my head:

Jump over a heavily fortified fence. I need to do this to get into the Chandler police equipment and evidence locker and see their loot.

I have to jump 3+ feet, pull myself up, balance on a six-inch wide lip (so as to not set off the motion detectors) and then leap across what looks like a few feet of razor wire.

A standing leap my do it, but I have to keep my weight forward to make sure I don't catch on the razor wire, which may reduce my leaping distance.

Maybe I'll throw something rubber over the wire. Or maybe pogo jump over the wall instead.

Will keep you posted.

Thursday, September 8, 2011

I've always wanted to write a book...

...and publish it and be successful and do Q&A sessions like the Rooster Teeth guys do at PAX. 

I've written some short-novel length stuff, but nothing complete yet.

But until then, I'd sure as hell like to see others succeed.

Teel of Modern Evil is helping a South African author turn a book of poetry into a printed piece. They need $330 to do it.

I gave $10. Won't you, too?

http://www.kickstarter.com/projects/modernevil/unspecified-a-poetry-book-hopi...

Tuesday, August 23, 2011

Mad Men walk-on for Morgan! Vote now!

I like Morgan.

Also, she's kinda perfect for Mad Men. 

She sent this to me earlier today, so DO WHAT SHE SAYS and no one will get hurt.

I hope this finds you all well. I’m writing because I’ve entered a contest to win a walk-on role on the TV show Mad Men, and in order to win, I need a LOT of votes! All you have to do is go to this linkhttp://madmencastingcall.amctv.com/browse/detail/45a01f14a72736620760ec0d479cbbb30dda28cd and click the “vote” button next to my photo. The first time requires that you create a login, but it only takes a minute and doesn’t result in any junk email. You’re allowed to vote once every 24 hours. The contest ends September 25 and I think I really have a chance at winning with your help!

 Please consider forwarding this to your own contacts; it would really mean a lot to me. Retweets and Facebook posts are much appreciated as well. If I can return the favor in any way, i.e., if anyone else needs nominations or votes for another contest, please let me know.

 Thanks so much everyone! 

Get to voting!

Monday, June 20, 2011

Brian Clark's life story?

The details of my life are quite inconsequential.... very well, where do i begin?
My father was a relentlessly self-improving boulangerie owner from Belgium with low grade narcolepsy and a penchant for buggery.
My mother was a fifteen year old French prostitute named Chloe with webbed feet.
My father would womanize, he would drink. He would make outrageous claims like he invented the question mark. Sometimes he would accuse chestnuts of being lazy. The sort of general malaise that only the genius possess and the insane lament.
My childhood was typical. Summers in Rangoon, luge lessons. In the spring we'd make meat helmets. When I was insolent I was placed in a burlap bag and beaten with reeds- pretty standard really. At the age of twelve I received my first scribe.
At the age of fourteen a Zoroastrian named Vilma ritualistically shaved my testicles.
There really is nothing like a shorn scrotum... it's breathtaking- I highly suggest you try it.

We're meeting tomorrow!

Another week, another StorytellersAZ meeting. Show up at 7pm (Gangplank) to be on the podcast or get there at 7:30 to participate in the rest.

We'll talk long-form writing, how to create ideas from nothing and what physical fitness has to do with creativity.

Tell your friends?

Monday, June 13, 2011

Star Wars prequels

What if Darth Maul survived the first movie?

What if the Emperor ordered Darth Maul to kill the Jedi younglings, and Anakin tried to stop him, but was injured?

Then Obi Wan swooped in, killed Darth Maul, but in doing so, accidentally injured Padme?

Then Anakin freaks out, blames Obi Wan for what he thinks is Padme's death, but Obi Wan defeats him?

Padme dies, Anakin gets angry and the rest of the film goes on.

It's better.

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Don't Sell Me Bro (guest starring me)

I have trouble selling what I do. I'm not sure if it's a lack of confidence that what I do is valuable (it's easy for me, but only because I have lots of practice), have an issue asking people for money (highly likely) or I just don't like talking to people (unlikely), but I've never been a great salesman.

When Conrey and Cooke offered me some quick sales training on their Don't Sell Me Bro podcast, I jumped right on it.

Excellent tips and a few pointers that I'm still using. My biggest lesson?

Ask for the sale. Never going to happen unless you ask.

Monday, May 9, 2011

Very proud today

There are times in my life that I am completely, totally and absolutely both proud of myself and the people that I know. While I frequently make do with arrogance and bravado, this time it's the most humble form of pride that I know.

A friend sent this yesterday: 

"Short and sweet: I finally figured out what I want to do when I grow up because of you. Thanks for that. Keep doing what you do."

I did nothing to directly help my buddy, but I'm damn happy that I assisted.

Saturday, May 7, 2011

Scooter riding has perks

I just drove nearly two miles at night on a 50cc scooter through a few busy intersections while impaired, wearing Vibrams and listening to music via earbuds.

I'm not sure if I have a death wish or that I think I'm invincible, but I feel fucking alive right now.

Saturday, April 30, 2011

Fast Five Man Date on Sunday, 5/1 at 10am

Think you're manly? Do you like fast cars, wooden characters, big explosions and predictable plots? IS SHINY AND LOUD A REQUIRED FEATURE FOR YOU?

If so, join us for an East Valley Man Date on Sunday, 5/1 at 10am. We'll be watching Fast Five at the Harkins SanTan

We'll be there a few minutes before and will enter the theater no later than 9:45am. If you're late or still getting popcorn, look for us inside.

2394_d005_00202r

2394_d012_00420r

2394_d013_00227r

2394_d014_00077

2394_d021_00185

2394_d027_00112

2394_d036_00195r

2394_d045_00063_0085_0249rv4_c

2394_d053_00017

2394_d075_00701r_crop

Thursday, April 28, 2011

Best entrance ever

Dose Fly Id - TEDxScottsdale

As a sometimes journalist, full-time writer a very amateur video creator, I don't often have trouble getting people to open up. I have a ton of practice in asking probing questions that get interview subjects to open up about topics they normally wouldn't speak about.

When the subject knows that a) anything recorded will be edited and b) I'm not in it to make them look stupid, they usually relax a bit and we have our conversation, I take my notes and then write my story.

But in this case, the interview WAS the story, as we were trying to set up as realistic a presentation as possible without making it look like Dose had people behind the camera prodding him. So, we tried to ask ONE question and let him give his presentation.

We tried that three times. It didn't work.

Then Bob had the idea just to turn on the camera, start talking as a group and slowly ease out of the frame. This worked well, and the video you see has a minimum of edits. Most of the segues were his own.

Sunday, April 10, 2011

Airport, Bikilas and Surround Sound System for sale!

Time to pass on a bunch of stuff I'm no longer using.

First, my b/g Airport Extreme Base Station. It's the UFO one AND it has a modem. No longer made. Works perfectly, I was offered a free newer one.
http://phoenix.craigslist.org/evl/ele/2300887549.html

As much as I love Vibrams, I never could get used to my Bikilas. Time for someone with higher arches than my flat feet to try them out. Good condition.http://phoenix.craigslist.org/evl/clo/2317036154.html

Katie and I brought this JVC surround sound system back from Chicago because I really wanted it. Turns out, it's too loud for this apartment. Or I'm not man enough to handle the bass. Either way, someone else should be using this. Has TOSLINK (optical audio) inputs.
http://phoenix.craigslist.org/evl/ele/2297192568.html

I'd rather not split the surround system up, but am willing to listen for the right price.

Wednesday, March 23, 2011

Look Better Naked Challenge Day 1 - Work those pecs!

After my "successful" participation in Vin Vallejo's Body Fat Reduction Content, in which I was the only one who GAINED inches (in the manly areas, I lost in my gut), Katie said she wanted to try something similar. So I'm going to take what I learned from Vin and continue my own training while whipping Katie into shape as well.

We'll try to get both our measurements done so that we can track progress over the next few months, but our first day, which was actually Monday, was pretty good.
Oh, and Katie really, really doesn't like the foam roller.

Monday, March 21, 2011

BFRC Day 57 - Results

After nearly two months of training with Vin and competing for a $2500 cash prize, the results are in: I didn't win.

In fact, I GAINED INCHES. Seriously. I was, as of 6pm, the ONLY contestant who actually gained inches.

Now, I did gain in all the manly areas (arms, shoulders, chest and legs) while losing in the fatty places (a bit in the ass and an inch around my gut), so the entire process (minus the nearly three weeks I missed because of travel and sickness) was absolutely worth it.

I feel stronger, look better and, most importantly, have way, way more energy than I have in quite a long time. My next task will be to train Katie the best I can as I prep for my next half or full marathon.

Huge thanks to Vin, as I'll still be training with him sporadically as long as I can keep up giving him some publicity (CLICK ON HIS LINKS! JOIN HIS GYM!) or convince him to trade gym time for a new website.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

BFRC Day 56 - What's next?

Okay, so I didn't lose all the weight I hoped. My slow struggle to change my eating habits, a weeklong illness and a loooooong road trip to Chicago certainly didn't help, but the responsibility is obviously mine.

Now it's Katie's turn. Starting tomorrow, and every weekday until we get tired, I'll be training with my fiancée to help the both of us reach our fitness goals. While I'm certain it won't be as productive as my workouts at Pro Fitness AZ, I'm sure I'll be able to figure something out.

Next on my plate is more running, as I'd really like to get my per mile time under nine minutes for runs 10+ miles. I'll also be out on my bike a bit more and will eventually start swimming as I prep for Ironman 2012 in Tempe. 

Whew.

Saturday, March 19, 2011

Day 54 & 55 - Done

It's been nearly two months since I started working out with Vin. While we didn't make it five days a week every week, we certainly came close.

I dry heaved five times, sweated gallons and managed to make every pair of pants and shorts I own too big. I'm also working on a nice four-pack that is begging to be let out from underneath a few more pounds of belly fat.

My arms are noticeably larger, my neck is smaller and I feel GOOD. Did it hurt? Hell yes it did. Did it suck giving up flour, sugar and Diet Coke (for the most part)? Yes, at first.

But it was definitely worth it. While I doubt I'll win the contest, my time spent at the gym was more than worth it, and I'd do it again in a heartbeat. Next step? Marathon. 2012 Ironman after that.

Thursday, March 17, 2011

BFRC Day 53 - Whew

Much needed day off today, as my forearms and abs still ache from workouts earlier this week. I suppose that's a good thing, but the pain involved is trying to tell me it's not.

And I had a Diet Coke today. I know I wasn't supposed to because of my self imposed no sugar, flour or Diet Coke month of March, but dammit, it's St. Patrick's Day and I don't even drink anymore. I figure a can of Diet Coke when I REALLY want one won't kill me.

I'm also noticing a positive change in the pictures taken of me. While I still look a bit chubby slobbish, my profile has improved even over the past three weeks. Hopefully I won't have to cringe much longer when seeing myself on video or photos.

I think it's a stretch day tomorrow and I really, really want to get some runs in this weekend.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

BFRC Day 52 - More pain, more gain

After begging off boxing yesterday (I jammed or bruised both my hands and it hurt to even throw a punch, so we did core work instead), I figured Vin would want to punish me having such fun assigning core work yesterday.

So he made me challenge a girl. Megan Hoover and I were workout buddies today, which mostly consisted of one of us doing something continuously while the other plowed through a certain number of reps so we both could finish.

Megan, who's likely stronger than I am, held her own just fine. The sprints were a little tough for the both of us, but I'm proud that I have no shin splints from running today. First time in a while that I've sprinted without major calf pain.

My shoulders are tired, my forearms hurt from Monday and my abs are making it hard to get out of bed, but damn, it feels good.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

BFRC Day 50 & 51 - Best diet ever

(Missed yesterday. My arms hurt. Lots.)

Before I head off to bash my hands against pads, I figured I'd show Vin exactly what kind of diet works for celebrities so he can get his own going. 

Jimmy is going to be faaaaaaat.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

BFRC Day 49 - Quick four miler

Hot damn, running is getting easier. 

While my form wasn't the greatest today, as evidenced by tight calves and a sore left ball of my foot, but running felt fantastic. I made it in under nine minutes per mile, not an easy feat in the upper 80s.

I can definitely tell my legs are stronger and my cardio is better, thanks to Vin, but I'm most curious as to how I'll feel once I get my form back. I pushed off too much today and used way more energy than I needed to.

But I'm still not sure if the people driving by appreciate my shirtless body in short running shorts. Oh well, at least the tops of my feet are tan. Wearing Vibrams has its perks.

Saturday, March 12, 2011

BFRC Day 48 - I'm tired

After a morning of foam rollers and an afternoon with a deep tissue massage, my body is sore almost everywhere. It's a good sore, though, and I'm eager to recover from what was a decently tough week.

I DID notice that I had a faint bruise on my left thigh and it's quite sensitive to the touch. Took me a while to figure out if it was workout/running related (both sides would usually hurt if so, unless it was an injury or form problem) and then it hit me:

My damn leg is sore because Vin spent 35 minutes whacking my left thigh to get me to sprawl in the middle of boxing sets (while wearing a 20ish lb weight vest and a band connecting my feet) on Thursday. He only smacked me upside the head a few times though, so I guess that's a nice trade off.

I wonder if he beats everyone like he does me. Must be out of love, right?

Friday, March 11, 2011

BFRC Day 47 - Calf troubles

I'm a wimp. On a day that was supposed to be about relaxation (though I think Vin is lying whenever he mentions that and really just means stretching) I squirmed and cried out like a little girl while Vin pushed his hands into my flesh. Sprawled on the floor with my legs in the air, Vin pushed and rolled and shimmied side to side with the foam roller until my too-tight muscles couldn't handle anymore.

What the hell happened to me? I used to stretch every day, but that was when I was running. Apparently I was stupid to stop, because the more flexible I am, the less my "relaxation" days hurt.

Then I got a full-body massage this afternoon. I'm really going to hurt tomorrow.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

BFRC Day 45 & 46 - Weighted vest

Changed the workout time today. Instead of our usual 8:30am appt, I head to Pro Fitness AZ at 2:30pm. Big plus because I was able to get a few small meals in before my workout, slight minus because I'm the type of dumbass who runs 5k right before his 45 minutes workout is scheduled.

It was pretty brutal. First, Vin made me wear a 20-25lb (something around there. the weights kept falling out) weight vest AND tied my feet together with a bit of tubing. Because I was already a bit tired, I failed to consider if Vin was strapping weights on me so I couldn't run away from him or just really wanted to torture me because i was already tired. 

Either way, I didn't last the full time because of the burpees and the repeatedly blows to the head (blame that on me being too stupid to move when Vin threw a punch) kept tiring me out.

I think it's safe to say I'll never be a boxer.

Tuesday, March 8, 2011

BFRC Day 44 - My hands hurt

I'm less doughy. Less and less nearly every day, in fact. It's obvious in my face and the slight hang, instead of form fitting, of my tshirts.

My pants are tough to keep up and my energy level is rising. I don't need much more than 5-6 hours of sleep to feel GOOD.

But there's one thing I can't rest, ice, heat or stretch that hurts nearly every damn day. My hands. My hands HURT.

You see, every Tuesday and Thursday, Vin and I box. Well, he holds up pads and I hit them. Sometimes he slaps me upside the head when I drop my hands, sometimes I make him wince slightly when I get a good kidney punch in.

But every day, every single goddamn day, my hands hurt because I haven't quite figured out how to punch. I get close, but no matter how much I try, I re-jam my knuckles constantly.

But I'll learn.

Monday, March 7, 2011

BFRC Day 42 & 43 - Dry heaves rise ag'in!

(Missed yesterday. Whoops.)

There is no greater feeling than getting a little proof that the goal you set out to accomplish is almost realized.

And I'm skinnier. It's evident in my neck, my love handles and my chest. Vin agreed with my assessment that while I may not be as light as I'd hoped, I'm certainly stronger and I've lost inches, which is definitely a best case scenario.

It's good to be heavy and strong. Lifting is easier, no one pushes you around and shirts fit a bit tighter. While I'm nowhere near where I'd like to be, there's no question that the past 43 days have in any way been wasted.

Oh, and I dry heaved today after shoving a blocking sled across the pavement and then trying to do burpees off an exercise ball. That sucked, but the air outside was nice.

Oh, and I'm running for Ashton Kutcher's VP of Pop Culture for PopChips. I'd appreciate your vote. http://bit.ly/tdhurstforVP

Sunday, March 6, 2011

BFRC Day 41 - Sugar hurts

(This post should have been posted on March 5)

I had sugar at a birthday party last night. First time since February that I've tasted any kind of sugar besides an apple or banana.

Holy hell it's a rush. A huge, huge rush. Like, not unlike snorting ADHD drugs. I had no idea it was so ridiculously powerful.

Two hours later, I crashed and was asleep before 10pm.
Sugar sucks.

Saturday, March 5, 2011

BFRC Day 40 - Healing hurts

(Late again. Damn.)

I'm pretty sure Vin enjoys hurting people. Oh wait, he's an ex-MMA guy. Of COURSE he does. 

Yesterday, which was touted as my "healing and stretching" day, ended up being the most painful of the week. I was pushed, pulled, sat on, straddled and had Vin push an instrument deep into my muscles all under the promise that "it would feel good after." While it definitely did, Vin's use of the rolling stick introduced me to a couple of calf knots that I had NO IDEA WHERE there and am now gingerly dealing with.

It's Day 5 of my no flour, no sugar and no Diet Coke thing and the dull headache is gone. I THINK I've been staying away from everything, but sometimes dressings on salads are a little iffy. The greek salad I had from the Med Fresh Grill on Mill Ave yesterday was DELICIOUS.

I need coffee.

Thursday, March 3, 2011

BFRC Day 39 - Charlie Sheen must eat Paleo, because I tasted #tigerblood today

Hot damn, this no flour, sugar or Diet Coke thing is starting to have an affect on me. While I definitely have a dull headache from whatever is in Diet Coke withdrawal, my energy while boxing this morning was a tremendous improvement. Hell, I even hit Vin so hard he yelped and need a few seconds to recover.

Also learned a few things today, like getting hit in the face, specifically the eye, sucks and that I should keep my hands up more. Also that boxing well is really, really hard.

Weight is holding steady, but I hope to start dropping pounds in the next few days as my body starts to burn a bit better. Only starches I'm eating are plain oats, sweet potatoes and brown rice. If anyone has other suggestions I'd love to hear them.

Also, I'm running for VP of Pop Culture. Vote for me once per 24 hours, please!

Wednesday, March 2, 2011

BFRC Day 38 - So, so tired

Day two of the no flour, no sugar and no Diet Coke. Holy crap, I need to find another source of carbs because my energy was minimal this morning with Vin.

I finally figured out what Jamie Oliver's Food Revolution was about at the TEDsimulcast tonight. It's GREAT. So great to see someone taking aim at fat kids and the parents that seem too lazy or unable to cook. The more I read about processed food, the more sad I get. We very much need to learn more about where our food comes from.

Brown rice, ham and black beans tonight for me!

Tuesday, March 1, 2011

BFRC Day 37 - Boxed my hands raw

Losing weight is hard. No matter how often I work out, it always comes back to healthy food choices, lots of moving around and better control of my food portions.

After 37 days of working this body fat reduction thing, I'm not doing too well. Sure, I'm down 13 lbs, but that's crap compared to the amount of work I've put in. It's time to make some serious changes.

A few months ago, I stopped eating my absolute favorite food. I thought I would crave pretzels and was pretty sure I'd be buying them by the case after a week, but it's been over three months and I'm totally fine (no sinus infections either).

Because I know I won't die, it's time to give up some other crap that my body just doesn't handle well: Diet Coke. I drink far too many a day and constantly rely on the kick as a crutch to keep me awake at night. It's stupid. Coffee and/or tea can do the same thing at a far lesser cost to my health.

So, far the month of March and in honor of Vin donating nearly five hours a week to get me into shape, I'm giving up diet coke, flour and sugar. At the end of this month I'll re-evaluate my choices, but not until then.

If you SEE me with any of these things, you have the complete right to snatch them out of my hands and throw them away. In fact, I hope you'll do that.

Oh, and I'm such a badass I boxed my knuckle raw today.

 

 

Monday, February 28, 2011

BFRC Day 36 - Proper nutrition

It should be way easier to buy food that's good for us. 

As I continue into the light that is a healthier lifestyle, eating nutritional meals becomes an absolute necessity rather than a luxury available to only those who are a little obsessed.

Good food makes me feel good. Spinach, egg whites and ham for breakfast fills me up without making me tired. Sweet potatoes give me energy. Salad tries very hard to make raw vegetables more appealing.

But try to find anything good for you at fast food restaurants, public events like spring training or anywhere that isn't specifically devoted to a healthy lifestyle. For the most part, it ain't going to happen.

Work out today with Vin was good. More arms that tired me the hell out, but as my body gets used to my daily work outs, I've noticed my energy level isn't quite as high as it should be. I need better food.

BFRC Day 35 - The long weekend

(Another day late. Posting every day is hard.)

I think baseball games are designed to make people fat. Such calorie-laden drinks, nachos and hot dogs are almost a guarantee that you'll eat, sit down and not move, and then fall asleep. Healthy food options are pretty sparse, so I made do by getting some tri-tip without the bun, with coleslaw and pico de gallo.

No running this weekend, which means today will be extra tough.
Today does mark my first day back in normality after an eight day road trip and a 3+ day spring training bachelor party. It was a fun ride, but my body will be thankful to slip back into a routine.

Saturday, February 26, 2011

BFRC Day 34 - Feelin' gangsta?

It feels good to be a gangsta.

Well, that's what rap songs tell me. Until I figure out exactly what that means, I think I'll stick to feeling awesome.

And I do feel awesome. The workouts are starting to, well, work. I don't carve crappy food and even today at the ballpark, I shied away from beer and a brat, mostly because I knew the havoc that would wreak with my stomach. There's apparently more to being healthy than working out every day, and I've almost figured it out.

My hands still hurt. Fingers mostly. I suppose I'll eventually figure out how to punch so my knuckles won't feel jammed all the time.

I could be an ironman. 2012, baby.

Wonder if Vin will want to race?

BFRC Day 33 - I feel stronger

(Dammit, missed another day. Friends in town for a three-day Spring Training bachelor party and my own engagement shindig will do that, I suppose.)

I'm always hungry now. Breakfast, lunch, dinner...it doesn't matter. Every day I work out at Pro Fitness AZ, I'm starved after. Yesterday's all you can eat at Scottsdale Stadium (I had a hot dog and four hamburger patties without buns and some beans with potato salad...I said I was hungry) helped that quite a bit.

It's getting harder to order food at restaurants. Never really noticed how loaded most of what we eat is with unnecessary carbs, cheese and fried food. A taco wrap with salad was mighty tasty.

I'm not sure if I even like beer anymore. Not that I've been drinking much lately, but I had zero desire for a beer and hot dog at yesterday's game and that's just weird.

Will try to get in a run today, if not tomorrow.

Thursday, February 24, 2011

BFRC Day 32 - No dry heaving!

I know it's not Monday, but it IS the first day of the week I've worked out with Vin and I DIDN'T DRY HEAVE. Some of you may call that normal, but I call it progress.

I also weighed in for the first time in two weeks and was quite scared. Eight days of traveling with a lot of time in the car and not much healthy food had me worried that I'd have gained a few pounds. I mean, I did eat Girl Scout Cookies, some McNuggets, a few burgers and had some chocolate cake. AND I ran once and worked out twice, which aren't exactly the ingredients for a healthy lifestyle.

I set the scale to 215 and stepped on. Nothing. Scale didn't move. Was it broken? Shit. I slowly moved the weight to the left, my excitement building. Down to 205 and the scale jumped up. Damn. Didn't LOSE any weight. I moved it steadily back to 209, the same weight I was two weeks ago and everything leveled out.

After a week of being sick, almost ten days of traveling and not a whole lot of workouts in between, I weight exactly the same. My 36" pants are still too big, but I'm not quite in 34". I really don't like fast food and I prefer salad over pasta. I feel stronger and more agile and I can run faster.

This working out thing seems to be working.

Wednesday, February 23, 2011

BFRC Day 31 - Crappy evening

(If you are sensitive to the mention of bodily functions, stop reading.)

I try to eat healthy every single day. Sure, I often have a problem with portion control, but I figure that's easier to fix than completely shifting my diet, right?

But yesterday and the day before, I made mistakes. During our 24+ hour drive from Chicago to Phoenix, we ate at too many fast food places, mostly because we had the dog in the car and my lady doesn't like to leave her there for very long. We had McDonalds, Arby's and Subway, and each time I was careful not to order anything fried and just ate the meat and half the bun. It didn't fill me up, but it certainly didn't make me feel like shit.

And then I got cocky. I added a six piece nugget to an order of two double cheeseburgers, and yesterday ate half of a medium pizza from Godfather's.

The lethargy immediately after let me know I'd made a mistake, but I figured that was the end of it. I was wrong.

Upon pulling into Albuquerque around 6pm last night, I felt an urgency in my bowels not unlike the time I ate two FiberOne bars for breakfast. The extra fiber kind.

I rushed into the motel office, fearing that my clenched sphincter would be unable to hold back the onslaught. I practiced deep breathing while the lady ran my card and power walked immediately to my room, not bothering to actually tell Katie where I was going.

I was sweaty now. And fearful. I really liked the jeans I was wearing and the thought of soiling them reminded me that they were 7s, and cost $100+.

My key card didn't work the first time and breaking the window was my next choice. My right hand was covered in my sleeve and rolled into a fist when the key card clicked. I bolted to the bathroom and plopped down.

Oh god. The stench and the sensation of a shitty food crap is horrible. It felt like I lanced a huge, diseased cyst. Katie came in later, asked that I keep the door closed and covered her nose. Even the dog didn't bark.

Three rounds and some pepto bismol later, I did 3x 50 each crunches, pushups and squats, followed by a two-mile run. Saltines later helped too.

I have no idea why or how reactions like this to the shitty food I and most of the ret of us eat seemed so normal for so long, but fuck that, man. No more.

No more shitty food for me. And every time I see other people eating crap like I did, I'll know most of their bathroom trips are emergencies, too.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

BFRC Day 30 - Trying to be fat

There has been no place more prevalent on our trip than McDonalds. There's one at nearly every rest stop, town and major intersection along I-40 (Route 66, kinda). While we've only eaten there twice (burgers with only half the bun; not great but far better than it could have been) we've stopped numerous times for there free wifi and always clean bathrooms.

At every stop, there's been one constant: the drive thru is always packed and inside is fairly empty. We're so fat and lazy that sitting in the drive thru for twice as long is preferable to taking the five minutes to walk in. America is fucking screwed.

I've also noticed that even the burgers don't fill me up anymore. Perhaps it's that my body knows they are mostly empty calories, but I'm always hungry after, even after I whoofed down two double cheeseburgers (bottom buns were given to the dog, then I smashed the four patties together...so tasty) that I had to munch on some trail mix.

Two more days on the road and it's back to Vin. Oh, and I swear my pants are getting bigger.

Monday, February 21, 2011

BFRC Day 29 - The long road home

It's hard to work out on the road. There's never time or a place and, at least for me, getting my smelly clothes laundered is mandatory.

I've worked out once since Tuesday and I'm starting to miss it. Not the soreness, but the energy rush I get after Vin stops his torture.

I have been fairly cognizant of what I eat on the road and that's helped. Lots of water, snacks like fruit and nut trail mix (one bag per trip, not per day) and avoiding super terrible stuff like beer and fried foods.

I did have pizza one day, but not as much as usual and it was right after my workout.

Two more days.

Sunday, February 20, 2011

BFRC Day 28 - Four weeks in

Today marks my fourth week as part of this challenge. So far I've worked out three times in one week, five times the next, two the week after that and three last week. Eating healthy food on the road has been tough, and I've done my best to reduce my intake (minimal bread, no snacks) because being in the car and/or an unfamiliar environment is exhausting.

I'm actually starting to miss the energy rush I get from Vin kicking my ass in the morning.

BFRC Day 27 - Missed a day

Dammit, I was worried this might happen. A long day filled with fun and merriment pre-empted my post yesterday. Perhaps I was still sad from not quite being able to fit into size 34 jeans (my 36s are too big) or I was exhausted from being outside while helping move stuff (it's COLD HERE, MAN!), but at least I ate decently.

Eggs, spinach and mushrooms for breakfast, followed by a lettuce-wrapped Jimmy John's sandwich and then a nice steak dinner. Working out involved moving a few bigger items, but because I was sore from my (3X) 100 pushups, situps and squats from Friday, I'll take it.

Friday, February 18, 2011

BFRC Day 26 - Being lazy sucks

I haven't worked out since Tuesday and I haven't done much physically in the past two days, as I've been in a car traveling from Chandler to Naperville, IL nearly every waking hour since Tuesday evening.

Diet Coke is poison. I'm sure of it. The bloating, the mouth dryness and the ridiculous cravings I get when I sip it are seriously starting to infuriate me. I've been buying those little bottles in an attempt to drink less and it's working so far, but it's time to go a step further.

It's time to give it up. While not drinking Diet Coke won't help me do the 100 each crunches, pushups and lunges (3x in under 30 minutes!) that Vin assigned me today, it will help so many, many more things. Like bloating.

My belly won't stop protruding and I promise it ain't fat.

Eating normal (spinach, eggs and mushrooms) this morning was great.

Thursday, February 17, 2011

BFRC Day 25 - Are we there yet?

I believe we are now halfway to Naperville, after traveling nearly 800 miles yesterday.

No, I didn't work out, but I did eat steak and eggs for lunch, a double quarter pounder without the bottom bun, an Arby's roast beef sandwich without the top bun and pulled pork with roasted potatoes with cornbread (thanks Stephanie!) for dinner. Yum.

Sounds like shit, but that's pretty good for me on a road trip. Thanks to Vin, my abs are still on fire and my hamstrings hate me. Yay for progress?

No wonder truckers are fat.

Wednesday, February 16, 2011

Crank up the music

Long car trips never seem like a big deal unless you're the driver. The passenger gets to look out the window, play on the iPhone or sleep.

Unless you're Katie and I. We've been up since 5 and on the road since 7am and are now less than an hour from Sapulpa, OK. I have no idea how far we've gone since we left Gallup, but I now know how long I can be in a car without freaking out.

I passed that limit 30 minutes ago. My feet are cold because it's muggy and my feet sweat when it's muggy, my hair feels greasy and my body is too sore from working out to sleep.

Oh, and the blustery wind is so loud we have to crank the stereo up, which distorts the sound. Sigh.

Did I mention the windshield is a smear of dust because Katie tried to clean the windshield and that didn't work.

Now instead of listening to Collective Soul, we're listening to what sounds like a Christian country rock group.

This is why people do drugs. I'm sure of it.

Also, I'm a huge wimp and Katie is awesome.

BFRC Day 24 - The long road ahead

I'm currently driving through New Mexico. Billboards urging people to end both domestic violence and DWIs are prevalent, as people here seemingly beat their spouses while driving home from the bar. You think they could at least wait to get to their living room.

My abs hurt. Lots. Vin has taken it upon himself to train me in a way that hurts more after than during and the groans after trying to turn over in bed, sit up or get out of the car are proof that he's succeeding.

It's really hard to eat properly on road trips. No chips, minimal soda and nothing fried are my goals thus far. The wendy's double stack tasted mighty good last night. Both of them, without fries.

This morning was steak and eggs with hashbrowns. So good. Oh, and what's the deal with cheese sauce at ihop and Denny's? Sick, man.

No working out today, but I will tomorrow.

PS- I hate long car rides, but my fiancée loves them. She's crazy.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

BFRC Day 23 - Everywhere Hurts

I may have underestimated the toll it would take on my body to have spent five days recovering from whatever causes an upper respiratory infection, as my sore hands, stiff back and often cramping abs shout to me: stupid, you were never in good enough shape to train like this!

But, at least during the workout today, I noticed a change that I'd been hoping would happen earlier: it seemed easier. Not that I wasn't trying or that Vin was going easy on me, but my lungs seemed to outlast the rest of my muscles. No longer was I gasping for air between sets and although I feel worn out, I feel almost...good.

Elizabeth Newlin noted this a few weeks ago after being on her treadmill for a week: it gets easier. Perhaps my lungs were sick for longer than I thought, or maybe my body just needed some time off, but today it felt like I was pushing my body instead of waiting for it to catch up.

An hour nap today, after which it took nearly four minutes to roll to a side and then pull myself out of bed while avoiding the use of my abs, showed me that my body is being stretched.

Hope I can keep it up while I'm training on the road and in Chicago. Think Katie will be as a good of a trainer as Vin?

Monday, February 14, 2011

BFRC Day 22 - Bloated much?

I'm a big Diet Coke drinker. Have been my entire life, much to the dismay of anyone who understands how bad it really is for our bodies.

But after taking a break for almost a week because of my upper respiratory infection, I had a few glasses yesterday and noticed something that had always happened but I never took much notice of before: it made me bloated. Last week's rib-area injury has made my mid-section super sensitive, and after the Diet Coke, it felt worse.

Way, way too much sodium. So to D. Patrick Lewis and everyone else who warned me, thanks.

And to Vin, who decided to work on balance today instead of kill me, thanks.

Sunday, February 13, 2011

BFRC Day 21 - Easing back in

It's been five days since Vin Vallejo has yelled at or smacked me for dropping my hands while boxing. Five days since I've broken a sweat working out. Five days since I've run.

It's been a long, boring and hellish five days, but I'm feeling better now. The congestion in my lungs is nearly gone and my ribs are not as painful. Time for a quick run, before which I'll be wrapping my ribs in an Ace bandage, to shake off the cobwebs and get ready for what will be a tough workout at Pro Fitness AZ tomorrow.

I do feel GOOD, though. Only had one slip up (Shells and Cheese on Friday night) and had my normal spinach, ham and egg whites this morning.

Booyah.

Saturday, February 12, 2011

BFRC Day 20 - Sickness gone, rib pain remains

Almost recovered from my week-long bout with whatever brown stuff decided to infiltrate my lungs and my energy is finally returning. Had an excellent sleep last night without the aid of NyQuil, so I'm pretty sure I'm over whatever ailed me.

But I had a slipup. I have some damn Shells 'n Cheese with a can of tuna. I know it's terrible for me, but sometimes, you just have to give in a little bit. Hoping to wrap my rib cage and get in a run today to warm up for what I know will be a hellish Monday with Vin.

Oh oh...I also started adding spinach to my morning ham and scrambled eggs. Very tasty. Still haven't figured out where to get turkey ham.

Friday, February 11, 2011

BFRC Day 19 - One last day to recover?

I am FINALLY starting to feel better. While my ribs still hurt from whatever Vin made me do to them on Monday, the sickness that shrouded my week feels like it's lifting. Sadly, I think I gave it to Katie.

I'm still being careful about what I eat. Not that I'm eating only veggies, but most importantly I'm still shying away from all those crappy comfort foods. I DID have a can of Beef Vegetable soup two days ago, and I know that's probably not great for me, but dammit, I was super hungry and didn't have anything else to munch on.

Besides that, it's been ground turkey with spinach and beans, egg whites with ham and spinach and some nuts. I'll run tomorrow and continue eating well over the weekend, in an attempt NOT to repeat my dry heave Mondays.

Thursday, February 10, 2011

BFRC Day 18 - Another day off

Yeah, that's TWO days in a row I've taken off from Pro Fitness AZ. Today I had a good excuse as I was running ChandlerCamp, but I bet Vin is starting to miss me.

Instead of treating these two days as an opportunity to eat whatever and do nothing (though I didn't do much as I'm still not feeling well), I was very picky about what I ate. I know that eating crappy food when you're sick is just going to make you worse, so I laid off everything that struck me as comfort food (pizza, mac and cheese, pretzels) and just ate meat, veggies, some nuts and a sweet potato. Doesn't sound like much, but when I'm sick, i'm not very hungry.

Have to listen to your body.

Hopefully I can heal by tomorrow, if not, and I'm not holding my breath on this one, it's back to running this weekend and the gym on Monday.

Wednesday, February 9, 2011

BFRC Day 17 - The day I wussed out

After being up most of the night coughing, and taking massive doses of NyQuil three times, I decided to cancel on Vin today.

I know that working out and losing weight requires a ton of sacrifice and toughness, but there comes a point when it feels like you're doing more damage than good and I'm right there.

Oh, and the left side of my rib cage hurts so bad I'm having trouble getting out of bed. Nothing is broken, but damn that muscle hurts.

My plan is to squeeze in a run today, take tomorrow off for ChandlerCamp and hit it hard again on Friday. I feel like such a pussy for scaling back, but sometimes you have to listen to your body (and your girlfriend).

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

BFRC Day 16 - Vaginosis flare up?

I may not have been totally honest with Vin in how I was feeling, as the combination of getting over a sinus infection and a pulled rib muscle made for a very, very tough day after my workout.

I probably should have stayed home and rested, but I couldn't shake the feeling that life doesn't care when you're sick, tired or hurt and that the people who ALWAYS show up are better off than those who wait until they feel their best to get anything done.

A three-hour nap certainly helped things today. 

Oh, and Vin "taught" me how to get punched today. It didn't hurt all that much, but was extremely frustrating. Blocking, dodging and deflecting punches is way harder than landing them.

Anyway, I'm so tired I can't remember what Vin actually said to me in regards to vaginosis, but you KNOW that's a funny word.

Monday, February 7, 2011

BFRC Day 15 - Dry heave Mondays?

For the past two weeks, I've busted my ass nine times at Pro Fitness AZ. I've also run two more days, meaning I've worked out five and six days a week for the past two weeks.

After my weekday workouts, I eat healthy food. Veggies and egg whites and fruit, with some popcorn and a few Diet Cokes, but nothing too terrible. But on my weekends...boy, my weekends are not so good. Cream cheese, chili, wings, cheese with turkey dip, and five-layer bean dip sounded GREAT yesterday during the Super Bowl, but after AGAIN dry heaving during a Monday workout, it's time to stop.

There's just no way I can continue to fuel my body with tasty, but unhealthy, food if I want to achieve any sort of fitness goal. Vin likened it to "fueling a Ferrari with unleaded gas." (yes, my body is a Ferrari, people. Obviously.) 

Oh, and I'm down 13.5 lbs since my initial weigh in. Sure, that's mostly water weight, but considering I haven't made a ton of changes in my diet, I'm on the right track.

Sunday, February 6, 2011

BFRC Day 14 - Honey, who shrank my gut?

Two full weeks have passed since I first dry heaved for almost ten minutes in the Pro Fitness AZ bathroom. In that time, I've worked out with Vin eight times. lost at least six pounds and discovered just this morning that my gut is a little bit smaller.

It's not that I woke up skinny, but you know that little spot on your stomach that shows up when you gut actually hangs a bit? Yeah, it's super unattractive and now it's gone. I still have my fat roll when I sit down or lean over, but when I'm standing up, it's not there anymore.

Awesome. Also, I didn't eat popcorn at a movie last night. Only the second time in my life that I've done that.

I'm definitely getting a cold, which has thrown my running plans into a spin. Do I run a slow 5k? Do I rest? Feed a fever, starve a cold, rest both?

Saturday, February 5, 2011

BFRC Day 13 - Man, my shoulders hurt

I have dubbed today my rest day, mostly because I didn't want to run before the Old Town Farmer's Market this morning, nor after it, nor this afternoon or before we're off to see Scott Pilgrim Vs The World with a bunch of other geeks tonight.

My legs are less sore than I would have expected, but my shoulders are killing me. Lots of stretching and even more water are in the cards today. Tomorrow I'll run a 10k and then probably pig out during the Super Bowl. 

Which I'll regret on Monday with Vin.

I found this old video of Vin from his fighting days. He's the one in the mask. Hope he teaches me the hypnosis move.

Friday, February 4, 2011

BFRC Day 12 - Where's the video?

I feel like I've been working out at Pro Fitness AZ forever. While it's only been just over a week, my routine of working myself to nea exhaustion, then going home and working the day away, feels pretty normal.

My pants are a bit looser and my entire body is sore.

Next week I'll add some video, as well as some shirtless pictures so you can watch me shrink. Or print them out and put them on your wall as a dartboard. Either way, it's all for you.

Thursday, February 3, 2011

BFRC Day 11 - Harder then freshman wrestling?

I was also curious about wrestling when I was a kid. I knew Hulk Hogan and Andre the Giant weren't real wrestlers, but real wrestling seemed a little uncomfortable, as rolling around in a singlet with another dude was, in my ninth grade mind, pretty gay. 

And then Kyle Townsend and I somehow talked each other into trying out for the ninth grade wrestling team. We were both basketball players and decent athletes, but had no idea what was in store for us. Everything hurt. My eyelids, necks, backs and legs hurt. We had to stretch every time we stood up. We got our asses kicked in practice. I went as far as to buy all the gear and then quit two weeks into the season. It was, for me, not all that fun. I had the strength of a 100 lb weakling in a 145 lb body.

I made the mistake of telling Vin that today and while he claims today's workout was going to be tough, I don't believe him at all. We did eight rounds of boxing with either squats, lunges or burpees into between and even threw in a couple of knees to the body. I DID almost knee Vin in the nuts when once of us screwed up the punch/knee sequence and I bet he's grateful that I missed.

In completely unrelated news, I have developed a zit right next to my nose that I can't get rid of.

Wednesday, February 2, 2011

Body Fat Reduction Challenge Day 10

I'm tired of writing Body Fat Reduction Challenge every day, so henceforth it shall be referred to as BFRC, the day, and then a clever headline. You may applaud.

Actual quotes from Vin today: 

"Be a good girl and spread your legs a little wider."
"I want you to stretch it as far as you can."
"Make sure you get it all the way up there."

Today was a bit lighter than normal, as I really didn't have any energy. I think I'm not eating enough during the day or maybe not eating the right foods, but either way, I need to toss some more sweet potatoes into my diet for energy.

My triceps are sore, which hopefully means I'll be able to get some muscle there for the first time ever.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

Body Fat Reduction Challenge Day 9

Another day of boxing and another day of reminders that I have a long way to go before I'd be able to step into the ring against anyone. 

Today's workout was 10 rounds of boxing, with Vin mixing up combinations, slips and bob and weaves for me. I'm apparently slightly retarded, as I kept messing up the number combination of punches (1-left jab, 2-right cross, 3-left hook, 4-right uppercut, 5-left kidney punch) but managed to avoid hitting him in the face, even though he did manage to slap me a few times as a reminder to keep my hands up.

I also used hand wraps for the first time and they helped a ton in keeping my wrists straight and my thumb in. Might have to pick up a pair of those soon.

Also, I'm down about five lbs since last week, and that's after eating not so good for me food for an entire weekend at WordCamp.

Yes, I'm sore.

No dry heaving today!

Monday, January 31, 2011

Body Fat Reduction Challenge Day 8

For the first time in many months, my Mondays are starting to look similar. For the past two Mondays, I've started working out at 8am, was dry heaving by 8:35am and then finished my workout under the watchful eye of Vin Vallejo.

The dry heaving and fatigue was far worse LAST week, so at least I'm improving, but the delicious, not so healthy for me food that I scarfed down at WordCamp Phoenix this weekend didn't help. My dinner from MFTasty last night almost made up for it, as the grub he served us was tasty and delicious.

My arms are very tired right now and all I want to do is take a nap.

This week I'll have five straight days of Vin kicking my ass and doing his best not to make fun of me when I can't finish resistance sprints (or band sprints, or whatever).

Sunday, January 30, 2011

Body Fat Reduction Challenge Day 7

After a night eating delicious but not all that healthy food at WordCamp Phoenix, today's run was a requirement. I felt better than I expected, but didn't run as fast as I'd eventually like to. I'm right around 9:30 per mile, which I'd like to shave at least a minute from.

The best way to do this is to lose fat and gain some muscle, which I'm counting on Vin Vallejo to help out with. I start the Vin diet tomorrow and will go all Paleo after that.

Time to stretch!

Saturday, January 29, 2011

Body Fat Reduction Contest Day 6

6am wake up call today ended my hopes of boot camp at 7:15am and three presentations killed my chances for the 1pm. I was totally planning to go, Vin Vallejo.

A run, probably four miles is in my future.

My body feels absolutely fantastic. I have a few sore spots from where Vin really leaned in with his hard stick.

Tomorrow is going to feel fantastic.

Friday, January 28, 2011

Body Fat Reduction Challenge Day 5

The best part of my day was when I woke up. As I laid there yet to move, my body felt rested, I felt relaxed and I was glad I'd been working out.

Then I moved and realized everything hurt. Thanks to Vin Vallejo and a combination of stretching, a foam roller and a hard stick, I feel like someone beat me up and then rubbed the bruises in.

The five minutes of jumping rope did a helluva job on my calves.

Three days off! Woohoo!

Thursday, January 27, 2011

Body Fat Reduction Challenge Day 4

Today was, according to Vin, my "stretching and healing" day. Good thing, as I still haven't recovered from Monday's workout and I'm positive my shoulders are going to be unusable tomorrow after yesterday's boxing session. 

Here's what happened today:

-I goose stepped my way across the room.
-I lunged and stretched, making sure to suck in as I did.
-I laid on the floor and tried to relax as Vin used a variety of instruments to get as deep as he could.

My back feels great, my calves are still pretty sore from jumping rope (I could barely handle five minutes) and I'm quite tired.

But I FEEL good.

I have the next three days off for WordCamp, but I'm going to get a run in sometime. Next week is FIVE days straight. Oh god.

Wednesday, January 26, 2011

Body Fat Reduction Challenge Day 3

I'm having trouble using my arms right now. Well, unless you count letting them hang at my sides. That's going pretty well.

But driving, holding my arms up so my fingers can type and reaching above my head are a bit of a struggle. Either I had a stroke this morning or Vin Vallejo of Pro Fitness AZ had me do an hour of boxing. I'm not sure I can tell the difference quite yet.

I did learn a bit today:

1. Running a half marathon in no way means you are in shape.
2. There are five kinds of boxing punches and I'm not sure I'm better than Glass Joe at any of them.
3. Being out of shape and chunky is worse than any workout I've ever done.
4. I'm slightly fearful of ex-fighter Vin sweeping my leg if I don't pay attention.
5. Jumping rope isn't like riding a bike and my toes hurt from the rope repeatedly hitting them.
6. I know what you couch to 5k people feel like.

Tomorrow's workout is allegedly stretching and healing. We'll see.

Tuesday, January 25, 2011

Body Fat Reduction Challenge Day Two

Vin Vallejo from Pro Fitness AZ didn't kill me yesterday.

But I'm still kinda chunky and now instead of being relaxed after a week of no running, my hamstrings are tight, my shoulders are sore and my lower back requires me to roll instead of sit up in bed.

At least I know we didn't waste our time. I have today off from meeting at the gym, so I'll probably enjoy a nice 5k and stretch, or maybe just stretch.

The diet what Vin sent yesterday, which I'll share once it's more complete, will require me to buy a few specific items that I'm currently out of (tomatoes, cottage cheese) so I probably won't be able to start that until next week. I'm always wary about changing too much stuff at once, as it's easier to give up on everything that way.

But hey, no Diet Coke!

Monday, January 24, 2011

Body Fat Reduction Challenge

I have far more fat on me than I'd like. While I can still run pretty far and I mostly fit into to my 36" waist pants but sometimes not large shirt, I miss the feeling being light on my feet. I've had little success losing weight for almost two years now, so when Vin Vallejo of Pro Fitness offered me the chance to participate if I'd share my experience, I couldn't say yes fast enough.

Vallejo took down my body measurements, recorded my height and weight, and then took a picture straight on and another profile. He also gave me a handheld body fat test, which showed as a little over 25%, which I think is the proper percentage for a pregnant or nursing woman. That's a lot. Vallejo said his goal for me was to get down to 17%, which would mean I'd lose nearly 30 lbs of fat and gain 6-7 lbs of muscle.

I think that would look pretty good on my 5'11" frame, and would help me prepare for my long-term goal, the 2012 Ironman here in Tempe.

Today was my first day. My half marathon last weekend did nothing to prepare me for this. Three and a half workout sets later, I dry heaved in the rest room for nearly seven minutes. I bet that didn't happen during YOUR Monday morning.

Finish the sets I did, and Vallejo said his goodbye and promised to send a meal plan.

I received it a few hours later and by now rigor mortis (don't fight it) is kicking in. My back is tight, the hamstrings we focused on today are stiff and I really want to take a nap.

I'll be posting about work outs ever day for the next two months. Yes, I'm doing them in Vibrams.

Until next time, Pro Fitness.

Saturday, January 22, 2011

These are not the hackers you're looking for...

I can't comment on this State Press article, so here's what I would have said:

Colin -

I hope your editor and/or journalism professor beats you for quoting Wikipedia. It sounds terrible and offers no flow to the writing. Paraphrase and link that stuff, yo.

Second, Co+Hoots, Skysong's Hackspace and Gangplank aren't hackerspaces, they're coworking spaces.

Next, Gangplank never charges. Co+Hoots does. 

Third, I can't believe you managed to get the copyright statement for the Co+Hoots and Gangplank logos correct, yet failed to interview anyone from either shop. You realize email and Twitter make requesting an interview a 30-second task?

HeatSync Labs IS a hackerspace. They break shit, put it back together, make new things and build stuff. That's what hackers do. They figure out how something works, then use what they found to make something different or better. It's an important distinction.

Do better.

Monday, January 17, 2011

Huge pet peeve

Know those industrial-size toilet paper dispensers in most building bathrooms? The ones with the capacity for a roll of one-ply toilet paper that lasts about a week?

I hate those things. I hate that they're mounted sideways, making it near impossible to obtain a flat roll of toilet paper for me to clean up my business. It ends up twisted and irregular and I swear I use about three times as much as I would if the roll wasn't parallel to the wall.

I can't be the only person with this problem.

Friday, January 14, 2011

Need design person for full-time gig in Phoenix (tell your friends!)

Good friend of mine is launching a retail product in a few months. He's looking for an in-house designer to help maintain the website and create and modify packaging for all product lines.

Office is located on Camelback and 32nd-ish.

Qualifications:

-Be fluent in both web and print design, with emphasis on print
-Apply and modify corporate and brand graphics
-Prep art for packaging
-Familiar in working with printers
-Create new packaging as necessary, as well as promotion material, marketing materials, print ads etc, sales sheets, cost sheets, power point presentations etc.

Pay is negotiable and depends on experience.

Interested parties should send a print work portfolio to tyler@tdhurst.com

Please attach PDF or give link for download. Please don't send a bunch of links to individual projects.

Fruit hunting for @meyouhealth

I completed this challenge years ago in the orchards of Eastern Washington. You see, my grandparents had land out there, so they gave us permission to enter, but let me tell you, finding what we were looking for was treacherous.

The parcel of land, lined with tree after tree, made for tough navigation. Once we were in this maze, it was often impossible to see our way back out, and after the sun set we could barely see each other.

We'd often trek through the maze armed only with Capri Sun and a bag slung over our shoulders. My brother and I would run from tree to tree, grabbing our low-hanging prize before anyone noticed. We'd sometimes eat our kill right there, as a celebration of the hunt. Juices would run down our chins, and then we'd take our bounty back to grandma's house.

She skinned, chopped and grinded for us. Sometimes she'd even add spices to the pulpy mixture to make a sort of cider that could be enjoyed warm or cold. 

I often wonder if the trees knew we were eating their offspring so close to where they lived. Thankfully, I hadn't seen Lord Of The Rings yet, so the nightmares about walking trees never surfaced. But sometimes...I dream of it.

Anyway, that's how we got apples for our breakfast. Sometimes we'd go to the store and buy bananas. Those were easier.

Thursday, January 13, 2011

Perhaps my best @meyouhealth challenge EVER

Play mini-basketball with a wadded-up piece of paper.

I was born for this challenge.

This morning, as I walked into Starbucks I notice a crumbled napkin on the floor. I glanced around, looking for the garbage can, but the line must have blocked it. Frantic to both get this likely contaminated piece of paper out of my hand and complete the challenge, I shifted into a three-point stance and pump faked.

No one moved. Crap. That usually works. I then swung the hanging strap of my laptop bag over my left shoulder and buckled the top. Confident it was secure, I threw a cursory glance behind me and noticed a lady opening the door behind me. No way in hell was I going to let her catch me on a breakaway!

I fake dribbled, took two large steps (maybe three, but I didn't hear a whistle) and reached over the counter just left of the espresso machine. The barista looked up and our eyes locked. Hers were a mixture of annoyance and fear, my eyes burned with a desire I've only felt on a eight-foot hoop while playing with a women's basketball.

Still leaning, I switched hands Jordan-style and lofted the wad, left-handed, with a little scoop shot. It hit the back of the can and bounced in. BOOYAH.

I lurched back, bumping into a customer in line on his phone and quickly apologized.

I left without ordering coffee and probably won't go there again.

But damn...what a rush.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

Exposition of Jared Lee Loughner

This was ridiculous. My first reaction is here: http://tdhurst.com/public-exposition-jared-lee-laughner

Below is the Vimeo version of the five Jared Lee Loughner videos from YouTube and his one favorite video.

Best description of Yoshi...ever

Totally copied from Dorkly.com. So awesome. Part of a series on best and worst versions of sidekicks.

Finally, a sidekick that would swallow anything. Uh, I mean, a sidekick that would let you ride it all day long. Crap! I mean – a sidekick that could really take a pounding. I MEAN A SIDEKICK THAT WOULD ALWAYSCOME AT JUST THE RIGHT TIME! OH GOD, WHY CAN’T I STOP?! …Yoshi was a good sidekick and a dinosaur. He could eat enemies, had a variety of abilities depending on his color, and Mario could sacrifice him for an extra jump over long chasms. That is all.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

Free your writing and the rest will follow

I just finished reading Accidental Genius by Mark Levy. The book explains and gives examples about the concept of free writing, which is unedited, often unpunctuated and always unstructured writing that's said to be able to unlock ideas and solutions that exist just beyond the clouds of our minds.

I wrote the rest up at tdhurst.com

Latest cover letter

I'm ready to take my talents to a bigger market.

Let's face it, the sun in Phoenix is nice and all, but this is the JV. I've done of ton of good here by connecting businesses, sharing ideas and helping people understand that magic that good stories bring with them.

I'm a 24/7 workhorse. I blog from bed, check Twitter anywhere I have web access and am on more beta lists than I can keep track of.
I've been a product reviewer for Fresh Pair, Sumo Lounge, TNT and a host of smaller firms. I was also flown to NYC courtesy of JetBlue for a holiday party because I'm one of those influential types.

I want to create awesome. How can I help you do that?